Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
