I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
