every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
