Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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