there's paper in my vomit.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
