She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
