She's JV to your varsity
tell your sister to shave her snatch
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
