I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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