Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
