I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
