Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
