so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize