Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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