Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
