i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
