he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
