as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize