oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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