16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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