Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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