Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
