The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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