oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
