He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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