dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
