this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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