how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
