I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
false alarm, still single
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
