I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
