Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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