From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
