just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
