Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize