he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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