so that wasnt chicken after all
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This is my gift to your gina
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
