a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
