I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
