a queef is a wish your heart makes.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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