her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
