Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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