i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
