I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
