so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
