thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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