at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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