She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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