when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
