that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
