Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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