Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
