Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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