We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
