just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
