Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
