you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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