We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
