You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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