WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
