Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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