I bet he comes in French.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
