I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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