My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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