I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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