I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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