Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
