I cannot find my penis.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
