One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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